opening the flood gates

25 february 2010

I just had a visit from three incredible Peace Corps staff members, including Jeff - the driver who likes to boogie.

They came in asking me how I was, and being that they arrived this morning without calling ahead, I was truthfully a bit flustered.. practically still in my PJ's with a mess of bed head.

Then we sat down, and as I cracked open the grade book I spent hours the other night putting together (by hand), it all started to pour out of me.

"Yeah.. classes are great but..

computer class always leaves me wanting to run away.

I mean.. where in America does the ability to teach your class depend on the weather?

Too many clouds, too much rain, not enough sunshine and we can't even use the computers."

Another thing is that

I feel like a hypocrite spending so much time lecturing, especially my English class.

I don't learn well with formal grammar instruction,

in fact, I have to spend hours and hours researching and trying to teach MYSELF all of this grammar stuff - trying to write out the formulas for the past perfect tense, ect. in a way that I can even begin to wrap my brain around - before I step foot in the classroom to explain it to the students.

I didn't really learn French until I went to France.

Why am I trying to teach English to students using methods that weren't effective for me?

My lessons take 3 times longer than they're meant to because I don't want to just stand in front of the class and spill out all of the notes on the board.

No, I want them to - even if i hated it in high school, "why don't you just tell us the formula?!" - discover the rhyme and reasons themselves (thankyouMrs.Davis).

Why are we trying to teach language as if it's math?

Is there really a right or a wrong answer?

Yes 1 and 1 may equal 2, but with language I believe there's so much more flexibility.

These rigid, prescriptive rules interfere with self-expression,

and isn't the meaning behind your message more important than the words used to deliver it?

like a person is only as good as the heart and spirit that fills them,

the body merely serves as a form of transportation,

making the sharing of that goodness possible.

I guess you could say what you say is just as important as how you say it,

if you give someone a compliment with a sarcastic tone, that totally undermines your message, but if someone says "Your clothes is good today", you understand that they think you're well-dressed, even if it's said using different words.. even if it's not 100% grammatically correct.

A printer, a copier.

What school in American doesn't have these tools?

Yet here, our secretary does everything on a typewriter.

If we had a way to produce and replicate work,

time could be so much more efficiently used.

Rather than spending half of the class period copying into their notebooks,

students could use that time to practice their language

and discuss with one another.

to Learn.

So often we are uncomfortable with change,

if my students don't have the same notes as those in the other S2 English class,

they feel as though they are falling behind.

Here (as in other parts of the world), success is measured in terms of points,

unfortunately this is so

and unfortunately this is what drove me to "learn" - or more so to cheat - in high school.

But if we can leave the points behind,

and focus more on the actual progress that comes with the ability to express one's self,

I know the test scores look good on paper,

but what really matters in the end?

Is it possible to find a balance?

Is it possible to make my students realize that their self-worth is not wrapped up in numbers,

I wish I could have seen that as a high school student.

Maybe this change will only possible when our world values a person on something more than a 4. scale.