it comes in text

15 may 2010

i miss your warmth, it's part of your red - your pure primary color separated from white light. your heart beating gently when i'm against your chest. the natural scent of your skin when i graze my lips from your collar bone up to the side of your neck and ear line. i miss the way you make me feel after you make a soul gasping breath, while your grip on the headboard has never seemed so tightly bound, yet your body feels weightless conforming to mine. i want to trace your hip across your belly button with tickling sensitivity, raising each invisible microfeather underneath your skin as if it was magnetic or electric, rub the softest part of my freshly shaven cheek from your inner thy to your calf while its raised in the air. loiter the whole day through loosing myself to your dreamscape, making sure i have given proper attention to every pour. the type of kiss that only promises my heart, its not a wet kiss but its pleasantly snug, a serene lullaby, leaving the skin comfortably tender. followed by a youthful whispering parting kiss acting as the tug of a coat jacket before bundling up or rather the final tightening of a ribbon after a perfectly wrapped present - because once the breeze begins to lay its blanket upon your skin its only vow to shiver the tips of the peach surface. your peach surface.

until all ribbons are tied, all buttons are buttoned, until once again i can harbor in your eyes once again. the line between our hearts can remain vague like the absolute color of the dawn, when does the sky become illuminated and to which colors there's too many to separate. we will never be chilly. and we can spend all day completely stripped of all other things that get in between two people. just us, in our purest, barest, human form. adoring one another. because that's all that really mattes, we don't need to have things in between us. silly fights, silly problems, silly things that make us get so caught up and so tightly wound, or the self perpetuating frustration that only makes the distance bigger. today i'm wearing red, because i long for your voice, your hair tie still bound to my wrist from the moment i took it from your hair. I feel you in me, everyday, when i look at the beauty in this world i always wish you're here to share it with me, and in that way you are the beauty of this world to me. and i am so lucky to have been able to explore close enough and in places i dont need glasses to see or full color vision to appreciate. the reason i like you, of many, is your capacity to love. its not an object, its not something you conquer, its not a business proposition or even logical all the time, its not mathematical, formulated or pressured because of time. its rare to meet someone like that, based solely on what i think god intended or emotion to feel. a connection based on something way more meaningful. way more underlying. sure, we share a lot in common but we're different people. and in that way its more complementing. its not there to accomplish more, but indirectly i feel together we could. its not the purpose but its definitely there. you're inspiring to me. you're more than a couple of boobs and a nice butt to me (which, i love your butt and i'm afraid i'm too much of an animal for it.) but you're more than that. and i think you're beautiful inside and out. i wish the best for you. and want the best for you. i want you to be happy and lead a very self fulfilling life. and i'm more than happy, and honored to help. your place in my heart is forever, and when i pass away, i know whatever may grow above me will resemble in essence just as much as you as it will of me. but until then, you continue to grow inside of me, vines stretching and wrapping around each of my senses, and i'm not much of a trimmer to take any of what you attached to, paired to, held to, penetrated through, next to, and cover it up. it's wonderful, and intoxicating, and its one of my favorite parts about me.

i admire your independence, strong will, and perseverance. your eager to help. and i think you are becoming one hell of a human, despite your fascination with dead baby jokes. but i have no interest in changing that, or any of your quirks. i like them all. i like the way you fight. your honesty. despite getting under my skin sometimes. you're a good fighter and i rather fight with you than another.

i'll stop blowing up your phone, it's probably getting kind of annoying by now, if in fact you're getting these texts. i hope your day is bright and you make the best of your situation, i know you dont want any of this - and i don't blame you. I know you will.

possibly a 2000 page novel on how i'd go about kissing the space where your thy meets torso. maybe i'll write you one called gardening with kisses